Praying Man_tisssssss

He asked ..why do you stick your tongue out and touch your food before you taste it...

Me: You should say "hello" before you "devour" someone 

What happens after hello?

The quick awkward stare down 

"How you doing?" 

Damn am I savage "for real?"

Men do it..why can't I?

Cut-throat..

Since...

It's been awhile...

Hell its at least been 108 days since I whispered the words I love you..

Since I looked you in your eyes...

Since I smiled so hard it made my cheeks hurt...

Since.. I tasted your black n mild lips on mine...

Since I felt your heart beat..next to mine...

Since I felt the bass of your voice in my ear..and your warm n touch so in dear 

Since I've felt you grab me..and take me..

Since you told me you loved me...

OMG....I miss you...

As I watched...

She told me to "stay and enjoy the show"

As I was going to leave but  she grabs my wrist..looked me in my eyes and told me "just stay...it's okay"

I sat down...he walks in..he doesn't see me but he kisses her with a hint of " missed you" all day away from you..

She smiles.."baby your plate is made and waiting on you" his response.."I want you"

They kiss..they grope.. The lighting hits her thighs at just the right angle..his appreciation of every inch of her is amazing!!!

They kiss like 8th graders...his hands wrap around her neck..while he slides in her for the first time...you hear her gasp....

Their eyes connect....

I'm dripping wet...

just watching....

She knew..when he came home she wanted to hear his moan..see how he formed his mouth just saying "fuuuuuk"

She made him stop,..got on her knees

YESSS heels on and ALL..cocked her head looked at me and sucked him off properly! No hestation!

He stood there like it was his 1st experience with her...in amazement like "DAMN BAE"

I watched...and carefully...

This is passion..

This is love...

This is...yup what I want! 

30 Seconds...

You got about 30 seconds...

To catch my attention wit your beat or..

I'm not even trying to hear your lyrics and could give a fuck about your beat

Can you look into my eyes and spit Barz to my lost beat..

Can you find the balance between my treble and bass and what about my heart beat that I have yet to replace..

Can you make my heart come alive like an 808...or I'm I cursed...

Please baby make that perfect line in our verse...

Your my last chance at "a hit"

Or maybe your just  my 

"one hit wonder"

Bless me with a hit that will soon be trending in my I Tunes...

If not it's good bye to this tune..

My Sunshine...

To kiss his imperfections..

To swallow his needs.. And

Digest his wants....

And release his desires..

His stress is gone..

Everything before this moment is merely a blur..

The tone..his grip and the look in his eyes shows her it's real..

You're special to him...and you will know it

Fuck what happened..who did it and why...

Just like a laboring mother who's finally delivers..exxxxxxhaaale!

He's real...Your King has arrived

Open your eyes and release your past..the hurt..the pain...

He's not that...he is love...he is real..he is...YOURS.

Letter to my King

Dear future husband

Just knowing that your out there makes me yet want to hold on and wait

Dear future husband

I know I look like a spicy black girl but please know I'm a Latina too and my Panamanian culture comes with me when I say "I DO"

Dear future husband

Please tell me you kill spiders 

Dear future husband

Can we do things like go on double dates..and even when I'm taking too long to get ready..will you just..wait

Dear future husband

Just so you know I love wine (white) I'm a hopeful romantic, I like walks in the park and ice cream sandwiches are my favorite!

Dear future husband

I really thought you would be here by now..time is ticking and I feel like I'm the last kid getting picked to play 

kick-ball!! 

Dear future husband 

I would tell you to hurry up! But it's apparent I'm not ready and neither or you..

Dear future husband

In case I forget to tell you 

Our 1st date was amazing, I love your smile and when I look into your eyes I see you were worth my wait worth every heart break and you'll be totally worth my last first kiss.

So dear future husband for you I'll wait...

Tick...Tock.....

When you run out of tears the anger sets in...

You may not see it at first glance..it's like a the identical twins in your class..you have to double take and let it set in..

The fight..has woren you down..

Is there anything left? but this anger?

You use this to fight off everything! 

Nothing absolutely nothing will hurt me again!

You're  like a broken minute hand on a clock you go back n forth TRYIN to decide how to move forward!

HELP ME!  Replace this battery and renew me! Make me forget about the old me! I'm threw wit thee!!!

It's only a matter of time..before it all wears out and....D...I...E...S!

He has feelings too

For you, there was a #him

For him there was a #her

He bleeds just like she bleeds

He needs just like she needs

That one word that reminds you of #him

Just may be the same word that reminds him of #her

Never underestimate..that thugs get lonely too the same way you came to this table with a past and a vision.

He's been at this table too..

Only to pull his self together to come back again...and see is this really #her

Opposite sexes never meant opposite emotions.

Before you are quick to judge..and feel your the only one who's guarding your heart..think about..the #her who may have ripped his apart..

You've been there too...think about the time..tears and prayers it took. 

Look #him in the eyes..kiss #him 

Hug #him tight...reassure him that your truly down for this fight!

Without #him there would truly be..no you...#her 

Be his rib.

Dear Ex

Dear Ex,

Let me get this out the way first FUCK YOU and actually THANK YOU! (no need to ask.. Im not mad)
Now I'm ready..

I'm not bitter either tho..Im better. As much as I thought I was "fixed" when I met you from the mutha fucker before you..welp maybe I wasn't. I still allowed you to abuse me and mis-use me. What I swore I would NEVER do again. But my biggest lesson learned was the lesson un-learned.You have to repeat any course you NEVER pass.
#myextaughtmethat

Every text message..yes when I went looking was a slap in the face. Every dick pic, every puss pic btw way tell your bish to shave (YUCK!!)
On a lighter note when I really think about this shit all these bishes was ugly..compared to mio!

I had to stop looking at your actions, as my worth. A man who loves you will do so, and do so willingly.
I would look at you on my couch with such disgust...like bish "why, why are you yet holding onto someone who doesn't want to be held?"

But again it wasn't you baby..it was me. I allowed it.
For every action there is a reaction. I did nothing but take a blow to my self esteem every time.
You know what tho somewhere in this mess! I found me! I woke up, dusted myself off, adjusted my crown and was able to walk away...and now I smile. It may have taken a while but I smile.

I realized you or the mutha fuckers before you, NEVER broke me. You bruised me and the BEST part about bruises is they fade... so again, I thank you. (SMILE)

Not yet...

Every tear does not have an attached reason to it...at times the fall before you can even realized it's happening..

We often fight back our tears..not wanting to display weakness ever!

I heard once it's easy to say "no" so for a change..try saying "yes"

"Yes" but  today I don't feel like pushing through the pain, that I live with still everyday...

I don't even want to speak it out loud..in my mind, it's safe. It's not even reality...yet.

Never did I think another would even get my attention..make me stop and think like really what the fuck am I missing...
This Nigga makes me want to get in the kitchen!!!
Make him a meal and shit better then that lets keep this shit trill...
I just wanna have his babies...WELLLL SHIT...Maybe?but shit FOR REAL

Hes ...got me like ...
Shit..I don't even know what to say! Im just looking  into his high chinky eyes..like "are you ok"
and its not even his looks that invoked me! it was charm..his confidence..his smile when hes around me like...DAMN!!! ME!

Bitter Bitch Moment...

The goal was to never think about "the L word" again after my ex i was DONE!!!

You won't...mid sentence to my rant you walk by and definitely catch my eye..I think to my self..

Mmm hellllo nurse!!!! 

My first victim..fuck him nice..long n convincing sessions...fuk his mind body and his soul...

Yup I wanna be the topic of discussion for the next couple of months...that was me I ripped your heart out...held it in my hand and laughed...kissed you ever so gently and gave it back to you...I have no use for it...shit I have no use for mine! 

Anybody wanna bye a heart?!?!?

Think about me at night while you clinch your pillow tight...wondering "do you think of me" 😏😏 nope!

I look down and break out of my trans to you shaking my hand and introducing yourself...I smile..well hello my name...

Untitled...

I just want you to think of me when you want that ....midnight slice..

When you toss n you turn...thinkin should I just let it burn...

The imprint left on your heart...has so torn you apart. Thinking I was just another stray but so easily you'd ask me to stay...

OOOOH

The smell of the  Peach Bellini candle from Bath n Body Works filled the room and was the only source of light..Luther Vandross's "Superstar (LIVE version)" is playing..the shower was hot and steamy...he walked up the stairs with such excitement to see her and hold her. It was a long hard day, he began to smile thinking of her smile, the scent of her neck.. hair and her cute lil booty. He only wanted to play in her curls and listen to her talk..it soothed him. He reaches the top step to turn into their master bedroom. He was greeted with the scent of the  candle he bought her for Christmas. He smiles. He's elated..  "My baby" he whispers to only be broken from his trans by a moan. He realizes the shower is going, looks towards the door of the bathroom and now sees the steam. The room is dim from the candles but he was able to see enough to go right to the bathroom door and find out what the hell was going on. He gently pushes the door open, bracing his self to be heart broken...

He exhales...and thanks God in his head. He smiles and watches her pleasure her self in the shower. He stands there... she's so into her self that she didn't hear him come in not that it mattered. She doesn't mind him watching her.. He admired her from head to toe. Her long curls dripping wet, long enough that they covered half of her dime sized aureoles. She had high cheek bones that only added to her radiant smile. Her lips were plump and succulent. Her tits were more then a hand full but yet not too much. Her thighs were thick and firm, like she ran track all her life!  

He knew she was only getting started..she wasn't even moaning with her mouth open yet..he began to quietly undress his self...he was going to help finish her off and at the same time blow off some steam. Just as he was about to step in the shower. She realizes her love was standing right there...
She smiles."How long have you been standing there?" "Long enough to see, you may need my help"
He steps in, they embrace. Her head falls right at his collar bone. She inhales him and becomes high.
She kisses his neck, he picks her up and gently leans her against the shower wall. They kiss like high school virgins scared to take that next step. He slides in her, she's rushed with feelings of excitement, pleasure and pain all at once. His strokes gentle yet strong. She finally gives him the sign he's been waiting for with her head slightly tilted back and her mouth in the formation of the perfect "OOH" but all she can do is let off a loud but very sexy moan..

The fun has just begun...

Understand...

Understand it's not about makin u hurt..revenge or malice in any form...it's about what I deserve..unfortunately it took for u to hurt me SO bad for me to remember this AGAIN....

#therealistshitieverwrote 

The hopeless romantic

We all just want to experience that kinda of love you've  exhibited to others...

The self-less I wrote you a poem while you slept type of shit..

The you were having a bad day so I surprise you with roses type of love...

The I just really wanna give you

 "this D" and make you forget about the fact that you just did your hair type of love...

The...don't worry about dinner babe I got us take-in...Don't worry the baby is already sleep..it's all about you tonite type of love...

The I won't ask..."here's a glass of wine type of love" "white" cause Red sometimes gives you a headache

😏 (yaaaas smirk)

The...it's definitely about you but it damn sure pleases me...seeing you smile type of love...

"THE HER"

Have you ever looked right into your lovers eyes...that you seen their soul...their soul ties...their hurt..their happiness...the reason "why"

When you smile " your eyes smile too" she mentioned this to him and he smiles..you can see the dimple in his left cheek and the grin of a 5 year old who got just his very first bike that he's begged for all year!

They stare directly into each other's eyes...it's silent but their both thinking "I wonder what he/she is thinking" she breaks their trans. 

She looks down and away...

He wants her...not just physically...but intimately...he wants to finish her sentences..send her flowers on her bad days...take her to lunch "just because"...encourage her..pray for her...court her..hug and kiss her...be the father of her children...make her bath water and drink it even..if that's what she needs from him that day. This is "THE HER" he feels just like that emoji wit the "stars for eyes" he's stuck..struck...and he DONT give a Fuck!!!!

REAL THOUGHTS

Some of my deepest thoughts are the ones that I'll never write down...it will only make it real...

Something NOONE is ready for...most importantly....NOT ME!!!!

Chess Anyone?

Her hairs wrapped...she's wearing your T shirt..she smells just like skin so soft...Ya's legs are tangled just like they are every night! 

She lays on her left side as you whisper to her how was your day babe? What do I need to do tomorrow and what's on our weekend agenda?....you hold her 20m...later  U-turn because in reality you want her to hold you.... want for a second to feel that..."respect..appreciation,.for being "Her King" she literally has your back! Rest baby...you've been out in this world fighting for " US! Our Family and Future" I'll take the 3rd shift...close your eyes...breath...your off duty...

"Just like in a game of chess a queen always PROTECTS her King"