Faith

Where to begin...
I met  with a life coach to find out that I may not be that screwed up in the head like I thought I was lol. At least when it came to realtionships and how I dealt about self. The one thing we touched on that only made me think more is where I was at currently in life.

This conversation intensified the feelings that I have... that certain things I feel I should already have in place and together by now in my life aren't yet.I'm older I should be more responsible right??? I should have certain things together by now. The bills..a house...man...children...career.Well not quite. I'm aware certain life circumstances happened that were out of my control. (yes I have control issues) I can look back and say that (sometimes)I did a good job off pushing thru these storms and yet holding on to my faith that at the end of the day my God was not going to bring this far to leave me.

Until the day I read this devotional. These four words changed my perspective. "Be strong and courageous"
I started to read this devotional like "yea yea Moses...Joshua..bla bla"
Sad..but true story. Something made me read it again but this time I related this story to my life. My own story and how God was speaking to me at this VERY MOMENT! GIVE UP THE REINS!!!!

Let me rewind a bit the devotional was based off Joshua 1:9 Esv
Have I not commanded you? be strong and courageous. Do not frightened and be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Moses had spent forty years leading but it was his time to give up the reins to a new leader which was Joshua.

It was apparent to me I was Moses and I have done my fair share of leading. It was time for me to let go of my control and let God have his way and take the reins in my life. Too many times things have happened and I'm like "why did this happen?" Examining my every decision thinking I could have maybe did something differently.

Everything that has or hasn't happened is because he wanted it to. Behind all my pain there is a purpose. I may not know it or see it yet but there is. He's calling me to be a woman of faith. I can no longer try to control my life I have to let his will be done and pray that I can be strong enough to face what may be ugly what I may not like or something that may even hurt, and even courageous for the the things that may not make sense. For the courage and strength to hold on when I'm very ready to just give up.

I never understood as a teenager how will I hear Gods voice. Well prime example. He heard my cry (literally) and answered. Thank Lord and Roni Lynn for being obedient and sending it to me :)